Caregivers and Depression

A father seeks help for his mentally disabled adult son. As he talks about the situation, tears begin to spill out of the corners of his eyes. His wife has diabetes and heart problems so she cannot handle the stress of caring for her son. She lives with her daughter. The father, who works a 12 hour shift at a plant, has built a little apartment on the back of his house so his son will have a place to stay, but the son keeps him awake all night playing loud music. The father says that sometimes he becomes "sentimental" when thinking about his son. He is sad that his son has not been able to achieve the life he wanted for him, and fearful of what will happen to his son as he, the father, ages.

In an article on the Caregiver Action Network website, Pat Kaufman notes that when a family member is ill, attention is usually focused on the ill person, placing caregivers in a "uniquely difficult position" (Kaufman, 2014). Kaufman says that as caregivers start to understand the changes in their own lives and realize the extent of their duties, they can develop emotions ranging from anger and resentment, to sadness and lack of enjoyment in life (Kaufman, 2014).

When caregivers feel angry or sad, it is important to realize that these emotions are not selfish. Rather, they are a sign that the body or the person is overwhelmed. Like a warning light, it is important to heed these signs and seek help before the depression becomes unmanageable. Treatment options can include simply being more vocal and seeking help from others, or forming or joining a support group. For those who are isolated by their caregiving circumstances, web-based support groups are an option. Some people may also benefit from talking to their primary care physician about temporary medication.

When caring for someone we love, taking care of ourselves can feel selfish. But only by spending time taking care of our own mental and physical health needs can we best preserve our ability to give more to our family member when the need arises.

Kaufman, P. (2014). Caregivers and depression. In Caregiver Action Network (website). Retrieved from 

     http://www.caregiveraction.org/profiles/tools/caregivers-and-depression/.